1. Micah’s accident kickstarts THE REAL MRS. TOBIAS’s action. How might he have responded differently to this event? Do you feel any character gives him good advice?

2. Who is the better mother-in-law, Veronika or Mel? The better daughter-in-law, Mel or Birdie? Would you suggest that either one modify her behavior? Who do you think is the best mother in the book: Veronika, Mel, Birdie, Luanne or Joy-Ellen?

3. Culture clash is an underlying issue in the marriage of Birdie and Micah. Have you observed that this is a common problem in intermarriages? How is it best resolved?

4. Which relationship do you feel is trickier: mothers and sons, or mothers and daughters?

5. Does Mel’s relationship with her daughter, Jordan, differ from the one she maintains with her son, Micah? Who seems closer to her daughter, Mel or Luanne?

6. Is Mel an effective psychotherapist? Why or why not?

7. Both Mel and Birdie had children at what currently is considered to be a young age in the United States. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages to early parenthood versus later parenthood?

8. The Tobias and Peterson families illustrate different approaches to involvement in the lives of adult children. Which family strikes you as closer, the Tobiases or the Petersons?

9. When Delia suffers injuries from an accident, Norah, her employer, assumes support --- financial and emotional --- for her care. Do you agree with Norah’s husband and mother-in-
law that she oversteps boundaries?

10. For which family, Tobias or Peterson, does religion strike you as being more central to identity?

11. In Veronika’s position, would you share a difficult medical diagnosis with your spouse?

12. Mel agrees to meet with Dr. T. What is her motivation? Do you feel this meeting shows good judgment?

13. Do you agree with Mel that it’s preferable for Jordan and her baby to share a biological connection?

14. Which role do you think women find more rewarding, grandmother or mother?

15. Which role do you think is the trickiest, being a mother-in-law or a daughter-in-law?

16. Do you think that expectations for the roles of mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law have changed over time?

17. In your experience, do you believe that mothers-in-law are unfairly criticized?

18. Describe the lives of the characters a year after THE REAL MRS. TOBIAS ends.