1. Why do you think so many couples have trouble keeping desire alive in long-term relationships or marriages, even when they are extremely loving?

2. Are long-term love and eroticism ever compatible? What does it take to sustain long-term love? What does it take to sustain eroticism?

3. In American culture there's sex all around us—in music, on TV, in film. What do you think the effects of such explicitly sexual images have on American cultural perceptions of the erotic? What are the effects of such images on couples in sexual relationships?

4. Perel claims that engaging in sexual play in the forms of role reversals, ambiguity in gestures and words, and seductive manipulations can help restore eroticism in long-term relationships. Do you think many of us are uncomfortable with fantasy and power plays in the modern conception of long-term relationships and marriage? Why or why not?

5. Perel believes that parenthood can have an effect on erotic desire. What are some of the ways in which having children changes the sexual dynamic between partners? How can parents recover eroticism?