Introduction --- Love Fraud

This story is true. Every incident that I relate is as I experienced it. The story, however, includes claims and promises made by my ex-husband, James Alwyn Montgomery, originally from Sydney, Australia. Although I accurately recount what he said to me, his statements may not be true.

That’s because, in my opinion, James Alwyn Montgomery is a pathological liar. A sociopath.

Most people do not know what the word “sociopath” means --- hardened criminal? Deranged serial killer? These are cultural misconceptions, more Hollywood fiction than fact. In reality, sociopaths are far more likely to cheat on romantic partners, assault their spouses, lie to family members, abuse drugs and alcohol, steal from employers, swindle investors and defraud credit card companies than they are to com­mit murder.

According to experts, sociopaths make up 1 percent to 4 percent of the population. This is a huge number --- of the 309 million people living in the United States, 3 million to 12 million are sociopaths. In a world population of more than 6.8 billion, there may be 68 million to 272 million sociopaths.

Some sociopaths are in jail, but most are not --- they live freely among us, and not just in “bad” neighborhoods. Sociopaths roam all communities and all segments of society. They are male, female, rich, poor, all ages, all races, all religions, all education levels, all demographic groups. Their deceptive and manipulative behavior causes confusion and chaos wherever they go. Although the actions of sociopaths are immoral if not criminal, many are never arrested for anything. They may hold long-term careers in every imaginable field --- business, entertainment, government, medicine, law enforcement, the military and even the clergy. They occupy many corner offices, although employees would probably describe them not as inspired leaders, but as ruthless, unethical bullies.

Anyone who becomes involved with a sociopath is likely to experience emotional, psychological, physical or financial devastation --- or all of the above. In this book, I tell what happened to me and other women that James Montgomery snagged --- he was a prolific con artist. Some do not want to be named. Any name in this book followed by an asterisk [*] when it is first mentioned is a pseudonym.

But this is not only our story. The twisted, parasitic behavior James Montgomery exhibited, I have learned, is typical of a sociopath. Because of my website, Lovefraud.com, thousands of other victims of sociopaths have contacted me. Their stories sound a lot like mine.

Many victims are intelligent, caring and upstanding citizens, yet they were unwittingly sucked into devastating dramas. The statement I hear most often is, “I never knew such evil existed.” It does, and this book describes what the evil looks like.

The next thing I hear from Lovefraud readers is a question, “Why did this happen to me?”

I asked that question --- emphatically, vehemently. I am an honest, forthright and competent person. I didn’t deserve to have my hopes and dreams crushed. I didn’t deserve to be humiliated. Yet it happened.

Seeking to find out why James Montgomery crashed through my life, I embarked on a journey that took me not only deep within myself, but into my relationship with God and the universe. So, intertwined with this story of betrayal is a parallel story of personal and spiritual growth.

My run-in with James Montgomery, it turned out, had a larger, divine purpose. The experience, in all its affliction, was lifetimes in the making and fulfilled my own spiritual plan.

I didn’t know this as it was happening. I didn’t know it as I poured my anguish and confusion into my journal, trying to fathom why, in my search for love and happiness, my life was torn to shreds. I prayed for answers and guidance from my higher self, God, anyone who was listening. Sometimes I vociferously demanded answers.

I got them --- although they weren’t what I expected.

Excerpted from Love Fraud © 2010 by Donna Andersen. Reprinted with permission by Anderly Publishing. All rights reserved.

Author Essay:

I'm Donna Andersen, the subject of last night's television premiere of "Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?" Yes, my story is a whopper, and last night's episode barely scratched the surface of it. To show how small the slice was, the shoot was 3 days, and my on-camera interview was 6 hours long. I gave the production team enough material for a miniseries, but it was a half-hour show, so they did what they could in 21 minutes.

So here's more: James Montgomery took a quarter-million dollars from me, and similar amounts from three other women that I know of. He committed bigamy twice. He pretended to be an Australian war hero who served in Vietnam and won Australia's highest military honor. Here in New Jersey, he was the keynote speaker at Veterans' Day services. I accompanied him twice to a local grammar school, where he talked to children about the importance of Veterans Day. The man was never in the military.

So why did I fall for the guy? He was not obviously slimy, like the actor who portrayed him in the show's reenactments. Montgomery, I learned far too late, is a sociopath. I, at one time, thought a sociopath was a serial killer. That is not necessarily true, but sociopaths are serial exploiters, and they are very, very good at it.

Because of my experience, I launched a website called Lovefraud which teaches people how to recognize and recover from sociopaths. And, I've just written a new book, also called Love Fraud, which tells the whole sensational story, including what he did to seven other women. More importantly, I explain why it happened.

There was a time when I was mortified by my experience, and beat up on myself for being gullible and naive. But this happens much more often than we realize --- I've collected more than 2,000 cases of people who have been snagged by sociopaths. I explain to them what happened and how to extricate themselves. In fact, Lovefraud now attracts 3,500 to 4,000 visits per day.

Yes, my first marriage was a train wreck. But the wreck gave me an opportunity to educate people about these human predators, and I'm doing it.