1. Before reading this book, had you ever heard of Iris Chang? Or her book The Rape of Nanking?

2. What did Iris symbolize to her friends? To her readers?

3. Did you blame the author (Paula) and Iris’ friends for missing the signs of her suicide? What about her family?

4. How was Iris typical or not typical of the stereotypical Asian woman?

5. Do you think her suicide was preventable? At the end, or only much earlier?

6. Do you know anyone with bipolar disorder? If so, do they have any similarities with Iris’ case? How did her Asian heritage possibly influence her symptoms?

7. Do you think that Iris tried to actively appear “perfect”? In what ways was she not honest? What ways was she unusually honest?

8. How did Iris’ quest for motherhood contribute to and/or reveal her decline?

9. What do you think motivated Iris to become so successful?

10. Did anything about the ending surprise you?

11. How does this book compare to others you’ve read in portraying the realities of female friendship? Or friendships between authors?