1. Ellen lives a quiet, bookish life as an English professor in the Midwest. Why does she agree to become Michael’s guardian? How has this changed her life, and changed the life of her family?

2. Why did Lacey marry Eddie? What has she found in the military community that has given her life new meaning?

3. Ellen’s daughter Jane is a wild one. What do you think about their relationship? How do they cope when Michael is deployed to Iraq?

4. What do you think about the author’s portrayal of the way the rest of society treats military wives and mothers? Do you know any military families? How true to life is this depiction?

5. When both women are told about their loved ones’ injuries, they react in different, yet similar ways. What is this experience like for Ellen and Lacey?

6. In the second half of the book, Ellen and Lacey meet and become friends. Is it unusual that they would become so close? How much of their friendship is based on their circumstances, and how much on their personalities?

7. Throughout the book, women’s friendships and women’s communities are important to the characters. What are some examples? How do the women in this novel lean on each other within the mostly-male world of the military?

8. What do you think about Lacey and Jim? Does her relationship with him change your opinion of her character?

9. When Jane confronts her mother about Michael’s injury and being “in charge of everyone’s bodies,” what does she mean? How does Ellen respond to this, and why does it upset her so much?

10. What do you think about the end of the novel? Do you imagine that Ellen and Lacey will keep in touch? How has each woman changed the other?