If you are open to new members or to the public you might get a bad apple or two.What if you get someone who just doesn't fit?
I used to own an independent bookstore/coffee shop in the Atlanta area and we had several book clubs that were open to the public. I remember once a woman showed up carrying a library book and a cup of Starbucks and I thought...."Really??" I mean I didn't mind if someone didn't buy the book from me - but really? The blatant coffee cup from somewhere else? Mind you I was also giving away free wine and goodies! But I digress. This woman then proceeded to monopolize the conversation, interrupt people and be generally pretty loud and fairly negative. Of course as the store owner I had to remain diplomatic, but that didn't stop me from an eye roll or two shared with some of my regulars.
Luckily in our case, the woman in question must have realized she wasn't a fit because she didn't come back. But what do you do if your someone keeps coming back and keeps being annoying. And even worse, what if she's a friend of your friend?
I saw one solution in action at a local senior center where I was invited to come to lead one of their book club discussions. The organizer warned me in advance about "Betty" who they all seemed to feel was out of control. And in fact Betty was kind of a nutter. Her ideas were a little out of left field and she felt the need to play devil's advocate on every point. The other ladies handled her by literally ignoring what she said and continuing where the conversation had left off before she spoke. It was hilarious. With a capital "H". They weren't rude. They let her speak and then they basically just pooh-poohed her and went on.
It was kind of awesome and more importantly it worked. The other ladies had a lovely time, and really I think Betty was none the wiser.
Another solution for the bad apple (at least for me) is to have that second glass of wine. Things tend to bother me a lot less after that second glass. But that idea surely won't work for everyone.
Obviously another solution would be find some way to diplomatically ask the person to modify their behavior. I think the only way to pull that off is to ask everyone to stop doing something specific without naming names. Make sense? Of course your bad apple may not get the hint but maybe she will. Fingers crossed.
Have you had any experiences with bad book club apples? Have a unique solution? I'd love to hear it! Feel free to comment here - or email me at [email protected]!
--Dana Barrett, Contributing Editor
