1. What would you say in a letter to your daughter? What advice would you give?

2. How does the author succeed in portraying a main character who never actually appears in the novel?

3. Is it selfless or selfish for Barbara to reveal what she does?

4. What does each character learn about herself and what do they learn from Barbara?

5. How does each character handle grief?

6. What does it mean to have a "good death?"

7. How is each sister's relationship with her mother different?

8. Do you think it is important to keep a journal? Why or why not?

9. Is it ok to read another person's diary, letters, journal after they die? Why or why not? If you found someone's diary, would you read it?

10. What is the best advice your mother gave to you or what do you wish she'd told you?

11. Does birth order play a role in family dynamics and did the sister's here display characteristics that you'd expect from the eldest, middle, and youngest? Why or why not?

12. How do you think Barbara's daughters have been affected by their mother's romantic/marital history, and what role may her divorce have played in their own development and attitudes?

13. How do you view the author's portrayal of men within the narrative? In particular, how does Mark's reaction to his wife's death, in the context of his role as father and stepfather, affect you?