1. Lexie is surprised to find that her father withheld parts of her adoption story. What was her father’s motive? Do you think he was right or wrong in doing so?

2. What role does Sophie play in Lexie’s life? Does Sophie reveal too little information about the past to Lexie? Or too much?

3. According to the Benchmark Adoption Survey (1997), sixty percent of Americans have a personal experience with adoption, meaning that they, a family member, or a close friend was adopted, adopted a child or relinquished a child for adoption. Many other Americans have an indirect connection. Do you have a connection to adoption? If so, what is it? Has this story changed the way you view adoption?

4. Lexie has a long-standing fantasy about her birth family. How did her fantasy help her through the years of not knowing the truth about her past? Have you ever held onto a childhood fantasy or known someone who has? What were the benefits? What was the harm?

5. How does Lexie’s Mennonite community in Oregon compare to the Amish community she encounters in Pennsylvania? What does she find attractive about the Amish? What do you find attractive about the Amish?

6. Who is Marta trying to protect by not being forthright with Lexie? Why does Marta think it’s better to leave the past alone? What does Marta have to lose if the truth is discovered?

7. The Amish practice of “letting be” is at odds with the individualism central to most modern cultures. When do you think Christians should “let things be” and when do you think they should be more proactive?

8. James tells Lexie there is no shame for her in her story. Is there an area in your life that you have experienced false shame? How did you overcome it?

9. Lexie finds comfort in Psalm 139:16. Is there a particular verse that has brought you comfort? What is it and why?

10. Lexie is intrigued with the both the word “kinship” and its concept. Have you found kinship in any unexpected places? What impact has it had on your life?