1. Do you think that motherhood and a mother's right to enjoy mothering need to be defended, particularly at this time? Do you agree that motherhood is taboo in some circles?

2. De Marneffe takes pains to emphasize the difference between so-called natural instincts and pervasive social ideologies that have acted to normalize women's behavior. How does she tread this line? Her detractors might say that because de Marneffe emphasizes the importance of motherhood to women, she jeopardizes the progress the women's movement has made in decoupling women from their historical role. After reading this book, how would you respond to such a criticism?

3. What do you consider the foundations of a strong parentchild relationship? How do you think the experiences of motherhood and childhood change as increasing numbers of women bear children later in life?

4. De Marneffe at one point notes that every feminist has her own set of feminist beliefs because our convictions are so intertwined with personal experience. Do you consider yourself a feminist? From what material have you built your own version of feminism?

5. If you have children, how do you relate to de Marneffe’s description of maternal desire? If you are not a mother, how does this book make you think about your own impulses to have or not have children?

6. Why do we speak of a mothering impulse rather than a parenting impulse? Do you think this book has important things to say to men as well as women?

7. Were you the child of a stay-at-home mother, or did you mother have a job outside the home? How does this help you think about what kind of parent you want to be? Based on your experience, what do you think is best for children?

8. De Marneffe argues for a nuanced understanding of motherhood and the social role of women, in contrast to the voice that calls motherhood an impediment to women’s independence. Is it only at this point, decades after the 1970s "women’s liberation" movement, that critiques like de Marneffe’s can begin to surface?

9. Have you ever felt guilty for wanting to mother? If you are a working mother, have you felt the need to deemphasize your motherhood in your work-life interactions? Does this book help you claim your identity as a mother?